Mid-Pre-Almost-Post-Season Greetings?

The inimitable Bobster loves the huge POSTSEASON signs along the foul lines so much that she’s suggesting that Major League Baseball continue the trend. Her idea is to have PRESEASON signs on the fields during spring training, then REGULAR SEASON during the summer games. And, of course, OFF SEASON during the winter, though few would be in the stands to marvel at the signs.

I think it’s a wonderful marketing idea and would extend it to those shirts MLB is foisting on players, managers, and coaches—those ALWAYS OCTOBER shirts that Wittgenstein would find meaningless. After all, it’s not October in December, or even in April. And no team makes the playoffs every year to warrant such a shirt. The Yankees come closest, but even they would qualify only for FREQUENTLY OCTOBER.

And the Cubs?! NEVER OCTOBER is a bit demeaning, but those drunks in the bleachers at Wrigley might revel in the irony. Still, it’s not accurate. ALMOST NEVER OCTOBER SINCE 1908 would fix that.

The Cardinals—often called the Yankees of the National League—could boast a shirt saying FAIRLY OFTEN OCTOBER. The Mariners might proudly wear OCTOBER EVERY BLUE MOON. Currently, the Royals could have FINALLY OCTOBER AFTER 29 YEARS, while the Angels and Orioles could wear WHAT HAPPENED IN OCTOBER?

The Tigers? OCTOBER SUCKS! I leave it to the reader to come up with a shirt for his or her team. But I do have one final suggestion, for the Rangers: OCTOBER WINDOW CLOSED.

By the way, my pick for the World Series: the Royals in seven, with a walk-off hit in the bottom of the ninth (or in extra innings).

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